Last week, I looked at reasons why dating a younger man may not be quite the good idea that it sounds on paper. If you’re still undecided, here are some more questions you should ask yourself before making the leap…
Do you have the self-confidence to handle any insecurities that may become an issue later?
Younger men can quite often suffer great insecurities in their relationships with older women. It is quite common for them to worry that they are not emotionally mature enough to maintain your interest, or they simply haven’t grown up enough to be able to shed any lingering insecurities they hold about women in general.
Many of the younger girls they have dated before have probably played all kinds of mind games with them, leaving them confused and probably emotionally bruised. A real woman, who’s past game-playing is quite possibly only going to confuse them even more. You’ve single-handedly just re-written everything they thought they knew about women! You’re a strong, self-assured, confident woman – why would you be interested in him?
Added to which, there is your own confidence that warrants examination. Are you sure you’re ready to fling aside the comfort of your dressing gown and get naked with that young hottie? Are you prepared for the potential insecurity of who else may be eyeing up your man? Will you be an emotional wreck every time he chooses to spend an evening out with his friends?
For me, meeting my now-husband happened by chance, not by intent. I wasn’t looking for a younger guy and I wasn’t in search of a man to complete a missing piece in my life or to fill a gap of any kind. I was genuinely in a good place in my life, happily single and happy with who I was. I’m certain (and my husband confirms this) that it was this inner confidence and sense of self that shone through that day when happened to bump into him in the street – quite literally sending him spinning. My husband smiled his delicious smile, quietly amused by the whirlwind of a woman that careered into him five long (and wonderful!) years ago.
Why are you looking for a younger man?
If you’re explicitly fixed on finding a younger man as a long term partner – you need to understand why. Is it a backlash to something that has happened in your life? Any criteria can be a barrier to meeting the man you are meant to spend your life with – putting an age limit on who is or isn’t suitable instantly eliminates any ‘wildcards’ who may just surprise you. In fact, I would go further and suggest that having a fixed idea of pursuing only younger men is unlikely to produce the desired results or the desired candidates, if your ‘type’ up until then has been a more mature man. Far better to know the kind of man you like, the character traits that you rate as being of importance and enter into dating with an open mind and no agenda.
Whatever you decide, happy dating!
© Beyond Cougar
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