I found the reactions of other holidaymakers really interesting when we were away. Staying at a small boutique hotel, hubby and I were the first of the week’s guest to arrive (simply because our flight arrived first). The place we stayed at and the travel company we booked with was a small, exclusive place, frequented by British couples who were mostly in their forties and over.
So, catching sight of me and my much-younger husband set tongues wagging, especially as that first night, we chose to take a bottle of wine down to the deserted waterfront, rather than sit and socialise with the others in the bar. Ourselves, and another (gay) couple were undoubtedly the middle-England gossip those first few days.
I could see them wondering:
“Has she bought her toyboy away for a sleazy week of sun, sea and sex?”
“Is she married to him or to someone else?”
“Is he married to her or someone else?” (We both had our wedding rings on).
It didn’t help that hubby is Mediterranean looking, so he could have passed for a local to an untrained eye. Perhaps he’s a holiday romance she’s having? Oooh, the scandal!
Of course, as the week went on, and they saw we were (gasp) just like them – looking to relax, be quiet, and not stay up having wild parties every night, the atmosphere loosened. Same again when they discovered we were married – more so when they found out we’d been married a while and that hubby wasn’t a Turkish toyboy I’d picked up out of nowhere. At that point, one of the older female guests, was (after a glass of wine or two) bold enough to confide in me that she wished she had the guts to choose a younger man over her old, staid husband!
We went from that couple that everyone liked to talk about to just being us – Jo & her hubby, a normal, regular couple, the same as the others, just looking to take some time out of our hectic schedules to relax.
Coming from a city where a mixed race/age gap couple isn’t even an issue, it was interesting to see the tongues wagging and the perceptions change over the course of the week. Because the reality is, even when their is an age gap, marriage is marriage, and the extraordinary soon becomes the ordinary, even when dating a younger man - to a point where the numbers are pushed aside, and it’s all about you both as a couple and individuals. By showing our middle-England co-holidaymakers that we aren’t so different, hopefully, we’ve gone some way to change how they perceive older woman younger man relationships in the future.
How do you find other people’s reactions to you as a couple?
Jo xx
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2 comments
For me and mine we get one of two reactions. From his friends particularly, and those his age (in their early 20s) there is a sense of shock that I’m with him and that I am as old as I am. That last part I take as a serious compliment. They don’t quite understand why we’re together but they seem to settle after they see I’m not a stuff old woman who is boring. Things are different when it comes to people my own age and older (in their early 30s). There tends to be two reactions that I notice. Some people don’t seem to comment or notice at all. In fact there have been quite a few that merely comment on how happy we look together or giggle a bit because he’s shorter than me, a lot of people notice that long before the age. Many others seem to get almost disgusted. I’m usually very conservatively and nicely dressed because of my profession. Dresses and suits are the norm for me. My better half is a bit out there with all the leather, spikes and boots. Tongues get to wagging when we are out casually both because of the age and the difference in dress. It doesn’t seem to change much when he dresses up either, especially concerning the age. We haven’t done a vacation or holiday together yet but I’ve noticed the same thing you described when we are at cocktail parties or similar social gatherings. At first there is staring and whispering but eventually it cools down and we just become another couple out to have a nice evening together. It is always amazing to me how quickly the tongue wagging can calm down.
Wohh exactly what I was searching for, regards for posting.